


Another shot please.

by AlexVaz01



Series: Surviving Law School [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Conversations, Depression, Drinking, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 11:29:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13589124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexVaz01/pseuds/AlexVaz01
Summary: Azure Williams didn't knew what to think about her co-worker, Maybe a few cups of coffee would help.





	Another shot please.

The first thing she got after arriving every morning was a cup of coffee, brewing, hot and perfect in a small blue mug; It wasn’t unexpected, it was already part of the routine, Azure Williams savored the bitter filling her mouth, the strong smell hitting her nose and the hot lash that made her push the cup away just a few inches, before smiling and giving thanks to the hard worker helpers that had everything ready. It was the start of the routine, the preparation of a long day of teaching, dealing with spoiled and not so spoiler kids and tyring to explain to them that maybe, just maybe, law wasn’t just about getting money.

 

Azure knew not everyone believed that, but sometimes the stances and opinions she heard from everyone around her made her doubt about the human race as a whole, or maybe just the law students and teachers around her, including Yvette Kale… Specially Yvette to be honest; the towering blonde teacher, with a tight up suit and the worst of attitudes, always finding ways to skip around the corners and finding pesky little spaces to protect not just herself, but her business from everything, ranging between kicking out young employees just because, to evading every single last penny she could on taxes. Problem? Hearing her brag about it every three fridays.

 

Empire City University had a special interest not just in grades and prestige, but also in keeping the higher standards of teaching, the most prestigious of lawyers filling every position available, their bait? Every three weeks a college founded dinner at “ Rulloff’s”, the local expensive bar-restaurant of the city; A place to drink and share time, to help you keep a public image and, most of all, to share with your coworkers. It was a blessing in the beginning, but after a while, every blessing has a curse behind and having to hear Kale’s new adventures once or twice each month was it, that paired with the fact of not being able to desist the invitations more than 2 times a year, a fact present in her contract.

 

  The problem could subside easily, like that, just one anonymous call, Garnet or another teacher could have done that too, she wasn’t the only one angry and honestly disappointed about those comments, about all those abuses she did, but… Azure was in the middle of a moral, physical and mental dilemma, there were so many things wrong with the world she wanted to fight, she wanted to kick and she wanted to stop, but each night when she closed her eyes…

 

She could only see Yvette’s amber ones.

 

People are just more than the sum of their individual parts, yeah, Yvette Kale was this brand of lawyer that just cares about personal gain, yes, the blonde was just this kind of person that had no regard for the rules of things, of course the taller woman wasn’t a teacher that truly cared about his students, that was there for them, but the woman was also so many other things; The smiles in the corridors, the words of encouragements in the long nights, the times she found a coffee in her table with a signed Y in a post it, the long talks where she could feel something else brewing inside of that head.

 

Yvette was enticingly attractive, she couldn’t deny it, it was her complexion, it was (a part of) her attitude, it was so much, but at the same time, so much pushed her away from the blonde woman. A half divided heart facing her co-worker every morning, a similar to childish indecision filling her each time, like butterflies in her stomach paired with such an angry feeling, just imagining all those little faces being mistreated for her selfish reasons. Azure couldn’t decide nor sort through her feelings.

 

Specially when the taller woman entered the room and found herself face to face with the white haired old teacher. Yvette smiled and walked closer, her hand in front, offering a very polite and professional handshake as she said.

 

“Enjoying your coffee, blue?”

 

Azure couldn’t help but smile to the nickname, it was just her wardrobe fault, full of the same color, ranging from the different tones but always coming back to it, and she couldn’t help it, growing in Beach City, just at the side of the ocean, waking every morning to the sea, always the same but so different too, in sunny days smiling, under clouds being a harsh mistress, full of waves, thundering against the beach, crashing against the coast, the sea was furious under the rain, and blue was predominant. It was just like a spell, claiming her, calling her, blue in her choices, blue being her favorite color and little sprinkles of it in almost all her clothes; Blue being her nickname was just the next obvious step.

 

“It’s… Good,” she answered, afable eyes focused on hers as she shook her hands, her touch was cold, but her own hand felt like burning, she would love to be able to attribute that to the fact she was warming up with the hot coffee mug, but she knew the answer was another.

 

“You ready for our meal tonight?” Yvette sat in front of her, keeping perfect posture and an almost militar stiffness, her black outfit, a pale yellow dress shirt with a black tie, matching with her jacket and the pants, not loose but not tight, showing a well toned and formed body, well placed abs, small, albeit strong, arms, long legs that ended in plump hips, a slim waist.

 

“You make it sound like it’s a date, it’s just this college thing,” The white haired teacher answered back, a little shy smirk in her lips and a feeling of just wanting to be eaten alive by the earth beneath her feet. “Also… I don’t know if I should go today.”

 

“What happened?” The coldness of her voice striked Azure as blunt, as always, but she knew it was nothing personal, it was just her way of dealing with people in public, distant, cold, like a far away leader.

 

“It’s just… You know, I’m tired, it’s been a long week and I just want my be-” Azure knew those were only excuses a high schooler would use, but with Yvette in front (Her low pitched voice could actually yell quite high) she often came back to those, trying to bullshit her out of situations.

 

“C’mon Blue, it’s a free dinner,” Kale’s voice showed no emotion, it was just a simple statement, a fact, something to follow, more akin to an order than to a suggestion; but when Azure’s blue eyes found the yellow in her face she could see something behind, the same care, tenderness, the same thing she felt so long and little time ago. She tried to answer but her words staggered in her throat under the scrutiny of those beautiful, charming and loving eyes.

 

“I’ll think about it,” She pushed the words like they weren’t forced out of her mouth, keeping her speed stable, her tone too, the older woman could feel her breath to pick up and her lungs and heart accelerate a bit, so she just did what anyone would do, run; “I need to go to the bathroom before class, see you later Yvette.”

 

She picked up a book and almost ran out of the room, quickening her pace to an almost run once she was away of those curious afternoon sun eyes, she closed the bathroom with a loud thump pushing the door closed and sat in the toilet, burying her face between her hands and giving a little scream into them.

 

In the black she could see herself, an older 47 years old woman, having a crush on one of her co workers, one that probably wasn’t even into woman like her, but harvoring a little hope inside. She felt equal times afraid, pathetic and a kid, this wasn’t the reaction of someone that had already passed through a fair share of relationships, some full of care and love and others just a facade, this wasn’t the reaction of someone that had already been in this step, but after that night, after those drinks… Oh god how everything had changed.

 

Azure Williams was in the way to her first ever dinner at this pricy restaurant, her first month at work had already passed and she was the new puppy of the staff, everyone was friendly to her, everyone was being helpful, in anything and everything, except for one, one tall blonde woman that didn’t even said hi, she just came into the office and ignored everything about her, except for one moment, when Yvette Kale walked to the coffee brewer and focused her eyes directly on her, her eyes were powerful to say the least, holding them seemed like a sumo match with someone three times your side, yeah, you could push and persevere for a few seconds, but you knew the overwhelming chance to lose as soon as you entered this little game with her, holding her like that was impossible and day after day Yella kept doing it, and over and over Azure was forced to lower her sight, losing in this improbable contest that just happened naturally.

 

The meal went great, amazing even, she laughed with everyone, she kept her comments quiet about the anecdotes she didn’t shared, and Yvette kept her mouth shut, just eating without a sound, her perfect form in there, perfect manners and everything just so immaculate, her light smile as she kept drinking wine at little but practically regular intervals. And the game, it was like hell in paradise, a perfect afternoon with this sick eye holding game.

 

It didn’t matter where she looked, to which side of the table or to which person around, something just steered her back into looking those amber eyes, it was a handheld, it was a contest, it was a competition they didn’t wanted to back off but Azure couldn’t hold anymore, everytime being the first one averting her eyes from the tall, towering woman, but somehow always coming back to it, to those looks, a charm, a curse, everything at the same time, maybe it was the alcohol in her blood speaking, certainly low but more than 0, but she could swear she saw something behind those looks, maybe a hidden smile or a wink, as if she, Azure, could see something no one else catched in Yvette’s eyes.

 

An alarm sounded and she jumped from her sit, the clock almost hitting 8AM and she having to move, she checked herself for a second in the mirror, her white hair really tidy, her long but formal dress, her blue eyes full of regrets over the past, the wrinkles appearing in the corner of her eyes and between her eyebrows, she tiredly gave a little smile to her reflection but the only thing she managed was a little smirk, not over knowing just… a sad smirk.

 

She walked outside to her first class, sitting in first row and listening to the presentations of her students, themes about human rights and ethics on law that always helped her believe there was a new path, but… Always might be a lie and she idly looked through the window, the voices of her students becoming no more than the buzzing of bees, background noise as she remembered a younger self sitting in the bar, alone and with a rum between her fingers.

 

“Another shot please.” She asked after gulping the burning drink in one sip, liquor traveling through her throat and leaving blazing hell inside, she usually didn’t do this kind of stuff, but after this cat and mouse she needed a break, she needed this kind of break, and little shots of rum gave her enough.

 

“That’s your fourth one, you should stop,” A raspy, although dominant voice was shoot behind her, she didn’t even turned around, she just waved her hand before picking the little glass and bringing it to her lips, the sweet strong smell of rum hitting her nose like a truck again.

 

“I’m not driving,” She answered, the hard liquid traveling through her mouth without even a taste, flames reaching higher all over her throat, “Another shot plea-”

 

A hand gripped her by the wrist, a tight vice claw pulling her around and making her look directly into the same eyes she’d been looking all afternoon, yellow with an amber tint, a color that was just indicative of someone.

 

“You don’t want to do this,” Her voice was impersonal, it was like someone talking with a stranger in the street, but the harsh burning sensation in her mouth made her feel like it had something? Behind, a drive, something akin to care? An insinuation? Azure wasn’t sure of it, “You’ll feel it tomorrow. Go to your house.”

 

“Why do you care about it?” Azure muttered, trying to pull her arm away, Yvette’s grip didn’t allowed it; alcohol was giving her strength she didn’t knew was in there to talk with the towering woman, the reaction she got was unexpected, an angry scowl and her eyebrows knitted together.

 

“Get your shit together, Azure.” Her words weren’t devoid anymore, instead they were filled with anger, “You are a teacher and more importantly, you are between coworkers; you are younger and also I’ve been told you are amazing, what reason do you have to drink your ass off?”

 

That simple statement of facts made Williams smile, Yvette took her other seat and asked for a Jack Daniels, as her words kept rolling.

 

“We care, I care about my coworkers and the new element, so don’t do that.” It was merely an statement, once again without any emotional value behind, but the eyes, those expressive full eyes, giving away intentions of care and giving, of longing and of love? Maybe once again it was the rum running through her veins, but for a second she could clearly see it there, Yvette Kale, sitting by her side, her hand over Azure’s fingers, non alcoholic heat starting to climb through her arm as a full glass of whiskey landed in the blonde’s right one.

 

“Keep me company, we can talk if you want,” and they did, they talked about what they care and what they like, they talked about the past and for two hours they weren’t just teachers of law school, but two friends just getting to know each other, the feeling of hand over hand, palm against back burning as much as the shots as they kept talking for ho-

 

“Miss Williams!” A scream woke her up from her dream, Elisabeth Zircon, one of her better students, nudged her shoulder carefully.

 

“Oh… Sorry, sorry I got distracted, I have a family situation and I hope you all can understand that.” She lied through her teeth, she hated doing that but what else could she do, reveal her feelings to a crowd of hormonal teenagers? “Do you mind if we leave the class in here. We can continue tomorrow.”

 

She could hear whispers of approval and of understanding in the back, she just took everything she had and walked away.

 

In the corridors there was no one but two girls, a blonde and a dyed up blue haired girl, nodding their heads off as they were falling asleep together in one bench, Azure tried to avoid everyone else she could, walking through the most obscure of corridors until she got to the teachers room, she had to do something, at least for today, and she knew what was that.

 

Coffee tasted good, it calmed her and filled her body with energy, maybe too much, maybe to little, but she had all the room for herself, an hour to waste and she had two pills to take.

 

When she arrived home, she had already 5 cups of coffee and definitely couldn’t sleep.

 

She worked through some papers, checking some grades and reading some books on negotiations, she checked her emails and paid her bills, she played with her little white cat, name “Bluebinne” as the clock ticked relentlessly the minutes, like a judge telling her with each second to do it.

 

Instead Azure focused on writing a paper, tests or the next thing she had to give up.

 

She didn’t wanted to remember.

 

She didn’t wanted to think about Rosie.

 

Not at all.

 

Because it was Yvette, it was all Yvette’s fault. She was the one that put the theme on the table, she was the one that made this so difficult, yeah, Rosie made them bond over in that night, and yes, Azure cried her first tears after years, after keeping this so close, bonded in her heart, maybe that night it was the alcohol speaking, plus the company, the little secrets they shared, maybe it was just Kale’s presence, those stupid yellow, amber eyes. Maybe it wasn’t just her presence, maybe it was just the fact that she had become the focus of their talks, always back to the past, always Rosie with Yvette.

 

Maybe what really bothered Azure wasn’t just the malpractice and all the shit the taller woman did, but the fact she knew about Rosie and acted like she cared. Even without her telling her anything, even without Azure uttering a single word about it, just the blonde catching her up when she was weaker, making her cry on her shoulder and then act like she cared, all those memories, all those painful things relieved over and over again, the same memories she didn’t want to relieve.

 

It was all Yvette and her fucking beautiful eyes.

 

The game was left behind after that night, since that it all was business talk, it all was sad anecdotes of destroying lifes, it all was showings of friendship, but what else, she not only lost Rosie, she not always avoided the theme each time Yvette tried to put in on the table, pushing just for a little more information, fortunately just in private every time, maybe it was all the excess energy of all those coffee mugs she had, but she had to do something.

 

Rosie was no longer there.

 

And no one else would dig on those memories.

 

She looked between her wardrobe, a long dress, very formal and also hugging her best assets, the one she still kept sacred, hidden away, for the possibility of a dat- Something, she crossed through her king sized bed and got to her jewels, a little diamond pendant, blue in color that she hanged over her neck, she took the keys of her car and started the engine, she arrived first at “ Rulloff’s” and waited outside, if she knew Yvette, she would be the first to arrive.

 

Soon she arrived, walking with martial accuracy from her car, her suit tidy and as always, perfectly dressed.

 

Azure followed her and grabbed her arm just before she went inside, yellow eyes looked shocked for a second before noticing her, softening a little as a smile appeared in her lips.

 

“Azure! I didn’t expect you here ton-”

 

Her index finger drilled into her dress shirt, pressing it up just in her collarbone, interrupting her words and pushing her through the open door.

 

“Don’t you dare say another word about Rosie, you hear me?”

 

Yvette looked out of place for a second, just for a moment until she swatted the hand away, “What’s gotten into you?”

 

“You have no idea how it hurts, You have no idea how awful this is, You have no idea how terrible is to hear you talk and talk about your work, about how you fuck people over, you have no idea how much it hurts for you to talk about my ex marriage, how it broke, because that’s what Rosie did, and not just that, you have no ide-” Yvette tried to open her mouth, to say some words but she was shut up by the sheer ferocity of Azure’s words, “DON’T SAY A WORD,” Williams wasn’t screaming, it was just a simple inflection of the tone, no one turned their heads around to watch them, it was just them two there, standing in the middle of the room, “You have no idea what happened, You have no idea how losing a child at birth feels, You have no idea what that does to a relationship, to everyone, SO PLEASE, stop telling that… I understand we talked, and I cried about it… BUT I DON’T WANT TO SHARE THIS ANYMORE… it hurts, it hurts so deep and so much, It hurts here-” Her hand traveled to her heart, her own finger stabbing her and making the pain even stronger, “- It hurts like hell and you make it worst because, for fucks sake and your eyes, you make it so much worst because I just want to kiss you once and get this feelings out… I don’t want to share anything… Just… Fuck.”

 

Yvette didn’t say anything, her face still profesional after that outburst of emotion shown by her coworker, she just tidied up her outfit and walked through her, putting a hand in Azure’s shoulder and whispering in her ear, “Call me once you are calm.”

 

Azure sat in a chair as Kale walked out.

 

20 minutes later the table was animated with small talk and the lack of presence of the towering blonde.

 

20 minutes later regrets had caught up to Azure.

 

And she just wanted out of there, she just wanted out of there.

 

The energy rush had left her just with emptiness inside, her recollections of the night were full and her regrets were plenty.

 

She knew where all this anger came, Rosie, Rosie and Yvette, It wasn’t her fault Yvette was like that, she could even understand, if not a crush a care about her as her coworker, I mean, he kept the thing underwraps, she had a therapist and worked her issues, specially her divorce and her depression after the lost of her child, she worked through the guilt and pain for years, she created a whole new life after it, but the constant worries and reminder kept hurting her. She knew it wasn’t Yvette’s fault, neither of those, her worries or her beauty, she could speak about how much at fault she was of being sometimes a horrible human being but, she blew things out of proportions and she knew it, it was like swimming on a lake, reaching the border just to find out you have to swim another lake to reach home, another lake full of insecurities and problems. She had to fix her relationship with Yvette, before Monday, or she would crack the teacher rooms completely, she had to sort out through all her fuck ups to do it, but she first needed something, something else.

 

An hour later she was sitting in the bar, the same chair the time Kale stopped her.

 

“A shot please.”

 

“It’s pretty early for that, don’t you think?” Azure lifted her eyes, to find a smaller, tanned bartender cleaning a glass, her glasses focused exclusively in her little craft, leaving the glass spotless, even raising it to the sky and looking through it, squinting her eyes just a little bit.

 

“Am I not the client?” Something brewed inside, but in her mind her arms kept doing leaps, advancing through the pain, the guilt, everything, “Can you give me one shot please?”

 

The young woman didn’t even focused her eyes on Azure, she just grabbed another glass and kept herself in the process, “Are you taking one for courage or for running away?”

 

The words buzzed in her ears, “What?”

 

Her dark eyes were focused on Azure, leaving the glass on the counter as she said, “I asked, are you taking a shot for courage or to run away from your problems?”

 

The white haired woman just moved her mouth, doing motions of talking as she tried to form words, the tanned girl cleaned 3 more glasses until she could speak, “What do you mean?”

 

“I saw you both fighting, I saw you at the dinner too, I would be stupid not to be able to add two plus two, my question is, are you taking a shot to find the courage to talk to her or are you taking one to run away?”

 

Azure didn’t know how to answer, she placed her elbows on the counter and buried her face in her hands.

 

Someone grabbed her shoulder, the same way that Yvette did, and she look right to the bartender, “My name is Carol, my best advice is go and talk with her, don’t drink anymore if you don’t want to make stupid choices.” With those words she disappeared, maybe to serve liquor to other people or because her shift ended, she didn’t care anymore, with shaky fingers she dialed Yvette’s contact and the call went through.

 

It didn’t even beeped twice.

 

“Are you calm now?” The words were cold as ice.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Wait for me inside.” The line was cut off after that, the only company she was left were the slow beeps.

 

Five minutes later someone took a seat at her side.

 

“Look, I understand.” Her words were still cold, but when Azure turned in her chair, she could see the warm in her yellow eyes, maybe her words, her tone didn’t had an inflection, but her eyes were expressive enough for her whole speech, “I understand that I pushed something I shouldn’t, I get it so much… But you exploded.”

 

“It isn’t just that, you are sometimes a horrible human being, you don’t care about your employees or their futures, you don’t care about what happen to them, you avoid taxes, you…” She let the words hang out when she saw Yvette nodding off.

 

“That’s what you think of me?” She gave one dry, empty laugh with that, “Seems like I’m the worst human in your book.”

 

“No, it’s not that either, you are also caring and have the most expressive eyes in the world, I don’t know what to made of you… You pull me everywhere and every clue I get about you just confuses me more.”

 

“Let’s start by the beginning then. Yes, I’m a shady business woman. That’s a fact and I can’t deny it, I won’t even ask you to forgive me for it or to forget it, but I also want you to know that’s the system fault and I try to do my best to do right. Yeah, I can’t deny this helps me, but you know how much money has come from my pocket as anonymous donations? No one can know that.” Azure gave her a little smirk, all knowing one, “I know you can just, not believe a single word of it, but you can also let me finish.”

 

“Go on…”

 

“In regards to you… I genuinely care, just like any other co worker, but… your case is special. You cried after that day, just because I mentioned you that name… I read it in the papers and I just wanted to confirm if it was you or no, I should have supposed it was, but hindsight is twenty twenty. I just wanted to show I could be a friend you know? Nothing more and nothing else.”

 

“Just that!? And why insis-” A finger was found in her mouth, completely shutting her up.

 

“Let me finish, Over the last point, I do have some feelings for you, you look just like a girl I had a crush on on high school. I know you aren’t her but that… Was hard for some weeks. I know that’s the lamest excuse, I know it doesn’t make any sense… But that’s the truth. After meeting you, the real you, not that image I have from the past, I still harbor something special for you, but I can’t define it.”

 

Yvette worlds were calculated, calm and each one meticulously pronounced, that didn’t stopped Azure’s heart to leap in her chest.

 

“So…”

 

“No, I don’t want a relationship right now. I wanna know what you think, about everything.” She took the pauses, her hand leaning closer and closer, just in the same place hers was last time.

 

“I just… I don’t know… I’ve worked a lot in this, I’ve seen so many people… But Rosie is still a hard subject, you just don’t forget about it, the feelings of guilt about thinking it was your fault, it was that… You killed your own daughter, that’s strong, that cost me my marriage and made me see life in a whole new light… I just… Need time and healing about that, even more… I’ve been there for years, 12 to be precise since that happened… And each day I think about her, I still have to sort through every feeling and… I would still do everything I could to get her back, I’m sorry I never told you how much it hurts, but even speaking about her is hard.”

 

Azure took a long pause, her accelerated breathing calming down as Yvette didn’t said a word.

 

“About you… I don’t know… I guess we could find out what will happen… Even tho… You helped me a lot, this is the first time I’ve been able to talk about her without breaking down crying.”

 

Kale reached with her hand and intertwined her fingers, leading it to the table and resting her back against the palm of the white haired woman.

 

“I don’t know how you feel, but if I can help you healing, I’ll do it… I can’t promise you to pursue something together tho. Your health is a hundred times more important… Even your mental one.”

 

“I understand,” Azure ran her finger through the soft skin, feeling the little wrinkles under it.

 

“Can we change the theme? I’m kinda tired of emotionally charged talk right now.” They both chuckled with that, a good long laughter that cleaned the air between them.

 

“Two shots please.” Yvette raised her voice after some minutes.

 

Carol gave Azure two little glasses full of a brownish liquid, and a smile saying I told you so.

 

Azure thought what kind of gift she could give the young bartender while she enjoyed the feeling of Yvette’s hand between hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, This was hard to write.
> 
> First of all, this is a gift to the original author of this series, PearlTheKnight, The first of my tumblr friends I've met irl, She's like the mix of both things... The best part of an internet friend and the best of meeting irl, she's... The greatest and this is just a little thing I can do for her... Just a detail. I love you Pearl, I really do.
> 
> Second of all, I've never written something so long for another pairing, I'm afraid not making justice to it, I like both YD and BD and I can ship them together, and I want this work to feel like it... Matters... I want them both to face not childhood or adolecent problems, but adult ones, I want them to feel like adults and I don't want for a second to cheapen what they passed through, I want them to be morally grey, I want them to have flaws but own them. I want them to feel complete.
> 
> Third, I MIGHT write a continuation, if you help me, giving me kudos or likes, that's the strength I can draw to keep writing for this fic, I encourage you to give me your honest opinion, to give me... the will to write more for you guys.
> 
> Thanks for giving me a chance, and until the next time.


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